And Now For Something REALLY Crazy
by blacktears
Summary: Ummm.....the title is the only thing about this fic that makes sense. Don't shoot me for posting it.


Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling, not me. Don't sue.   
  
Note: *bangs head on table* Why did I write this? Why? WHY? Because I'm a crazy chick? And hyper? Okay, works for me! =) This story is probably the ODDest I have ever written (and that's saying a lot). It's confusing, pointless, PLOTless, doesn't make sense and was fun as hell to write! Enjoy! Or, at the very least, don't maim me because of it, deal? Glad you agree. Oh yeah, I almost forgot! I wanna thank the little voices in my head for helping me with this....I couldn't have written it without them. ;oP   
  
  


**And Now for Something REALLY Crazy**

  
  
  
Hello, this is Harry Potter. Yes, Harry Potter.....No, I'm not some dumb chick...no! Oh wait, you mean this authors name? Oooooh thaaat.....no, this is just the BODY SNATCHING Harry Potter (MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA) and I just happened to take over this bod. It's a little....erm....FEMALE for me, but what the hell. It works, as long as I don't have to take a piss or have sex.   
  
Anyhow, where was I? Damn you people, you made me forget! What? Oh, thanks for the reminder.....   
  
*ahem* Hello, this is Harry Potter. I've decided to narrate one of these little kinky-er.....I meant KOOKY stories myself so as you get the REAL way it happened, not some...um.....word please? Oh, thanks again! ....Not some misinformed version. Lets begin.....   
  
This story starts on a pretty spring day at Hogwart's school for witchcraft and wizardry. Well, sorta......I, along with several of my friends (Ron and Hermione, you know, though no one has ever bothered to write about Ethel! She was there too...), were GOING to Hogwarts at the time, but our story actually starts in Hogsmede, which (as you all know) is near the school.   
  
"Grr..." Ron growled as he stalked along beside Hermione (the only person in the WORLD who can cheer him up when he's out of it-or get him sober when he's drunk, for that matter). "I hate Malfoy."   
  
Hermione glanced over at Ron and carefully patted his shoulder. "I know," She said, sounding very....well, like she was just humoring him, ya know? "We all do."   
  
"If he does one more thing, I SWEAR, I'll-" Ron looked angry as anything, his face was redder then his hair and his eyes.....they were redder than his face! And bloodshot, popping out of his head like some bad cartoon. Smoke coming out of his ears and-what? Just continue? Oh....all right....(*grumble grumble*)   
  
"Don't swear!" Ethel interupted him...she had a little thing about swearing. Ron glared at her, but didn't swear. Instead, he-what? No Ethel?! Of course there's an Ethel! WHAT? No, Ethel isn't me in drag....Hey! This is my story, don't interupt anymore! Grrrr.....AS I WAS SAYING......Oh all right, No Ethel. (idiot, it's my story and I can.....All right! All right! Now I have to start over....)   
  
"Grr..." Ron growled as he stalked beside Hermione. "I hate Malfoy."   
  
Hermione glanced over at him and pat his shoulder. "I know," She said. "We all do."   
  
"If he makes one more crack about my family, just one more! I'll rip his balls off and feed them to him for...." Huh? No, it is NOT too violent....Thats how it happened! I don't care if little kids are reading this, it's the truth! The truth, I say! But-Oh damn you people! Now I have to start again.....   
  
"Grr." Ron said. "I hate Malfoy."   
  
Hermione patted him on the shoulder and said: "I know. We all do."   
  
"If he makes one more crack about my family I am going to be soooooo pissed." Ron replied. (What, no bitching at me about saying "pissed"?! ~sarcasm~)   
  
"I wish there was a way that we could take care of him," I said (yes, I'm in this story). "You know, so he wouldn't bother us anymore."   
  
We walked in silence for a few minutes before-What? No, I did NOT mean kill him....No! Sorry, but Malfoy does NOT die in this story.......Yes, I want him to die too-I'd be happy to kill him! A nice, bloody, painful, long death.....Waaaaait a minute? You won't let Ron feed Malfoy his balls, but you'll let me torture him to death? Eeew! No, I already told you that this isn't a kink story! Your wacked man...let me continue....   
  
We walked in silence for a few minutes before anyone voice the idea that we all had in our minds. And then it came out, all together. "Fred and George!" We exclaimed, grinning at each other.   
  
What? What do you mean "who's you all?" Ron, Hermione and me, of course.....yes, Hermione thought of it to...Yes, yes......ARGH! I CAN'T TAKE THESE INTERUPTIONS! Blacktears, you can have your body back, and YOU can deal with these damned voices! I quit!   
  
~*silence*~   
  
Blacktears: okay, so he's gone....I'll finish the story.   
  
"Grr." Ron said. "I hate Malfoy."   
  
Hermione patted him on the shoulder and said: "I know. We all do."   
  
"If he makes one more crack about my family I am going to be soooooo pissed." Ron replied.   
  
"I wish there was a way that we could take care of him," Harry said. "You know, so he wouldn't bother us anymore."   
  
They walked in silence for a few more minutes before they came to the candy store and all unpleasant thoughts left their heads.   
  
THE END   
  
  
  
SOOOOOORRRRRRYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


End file.
